Grandioses Webfundstück: Die Meldungen aus der Spielebranche als MMO

In den letzten Monaten berichteten wir eingehend über die Probleme und Neuigkeiten der Spielebranche. Activision Blizzard entstand, EA wollte Take-Two kaufen, Midway ist in Finanzschwierigkeiten, Nintendos Führungsposition im Konsolenmarkt und vieles mehr. Die drögen Finanzmeldungen wurden jetzt von einem unbekannten Autor in den Chat eines Online-Rollenspiels übersetzt, der zwar in englischer Sprache daher kommt, allerdings nicht minder unterhaltsam ist.

Player EA logged in.
Player Midway logged in.
Player Activision logged in.
Player Take_2 logged in.
Player THQ logged in.
Player Microsoft logged in.
Player Sony logged in.

Player EA says: yo Take_Two. Wanna group?
Player Take_2 says: fuk u i dont group with losers
Player EA says: ?
Player Take_2 says: newb
Player EA says: Come on I'll give you 2 billion gold
Player Take_2 says: no
Player Take_2 says: I got epic gear I don't need newbz like u
Player Take_2 roars.
Player EA says: dude just because you won the loot rool on that tier 4 GTA bow last time doesn't make you hawt shit
Player Take_2 says: loser
Player EA says: fuk u 2 then
Player EA says: Here comes the boss mob
Monster Recession awakens.
Player EA hits with sword "Mirror's Edge".
Player EA critical miss.
Player EA casts spell "Need For Speed".
Player EA spell fizzles.
Monster Recession hits Player EA for 50,000,000 damage points.
Player EA says: ow
Player EA casts aura "Dead Space".
Monster Recession dispels aura "Dead Space" from Player EA.
Player EA says: WTF? Omg this sucks thiss game is soo imba
Monster Recession hits Player EA.
Monster Recession hits Player Midway.
Monster Recession hits Player Activision.
Player EA gets hit for 200,000,000 damage points.
Player Midway gets critical hit for 250,000,000 damage points.
Player Midway's health is low!
Player Activision dodges.
Player Blizzard logs in.
Player Activision says: Yo Bliz. Wanna group?
Player Blizzard says: Sure, why not. Better you than the other wankers. I was just chilling anyway.
Player Activision now grouped with player Blizzard.
Player EA says: Shit this mob is harder than I thought.
Player EA enters Defensive Stance at a cost of 10% of mana pool.
Player Midway shouts: GUYS I COULD REALLY USE A HEAL RIGHT NOW
Player Take_Two: haha losers watch this
Player Take_Two hits Monster Recession for 500,000,000 damage points.
Monster Recessions heals Monster Recession for 500,000,000 damage points.
Monster Recession is enraged!
Monster Recession hits player EA for 50,000,000 damage points.
Monster Recession hits player Take_2 for 50,000,000 damage points.
Monster Recession hits player Midway for 50,000,000 damage points.
Monster Recession hits player Activision for 50,000,000 damage points.
Monster Recession hits player Blizzard for 50,000,000 damage points.
Monster Recession hits player THQ for 50,000,000 damage points.
Monster Recession hits player Sony for 50,000,000 damage points.
Monster Recession hits player Microsoft for 50,000,000 damage points.
Player Midway is unconscious.
Player Blizzard enters WoW stance.
Player Blizzard stance regenerates 100,000,000 damage points per second.
Player Take_2 says: FUUK
Player Take_2 says: I've used up all my ammo
Player EA says: Ya whatcha gonna do now MORON
Player Take_2 says: fuk u
Player Midway shouts: DO SOMTHING
Player Blizzard casts spell "Starcraft 2". Casting time 79 minutes.
Player Blizzard says: Sorry guys this could take a while
Player 9tendo logged in.
Player 9tendo says: WAZZUP BIATCHES!
Player 9tendo says: Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Player EA rolls eyes.
Player Midway rolls eyes.
Player Take_2 rolls eyes.
Player Activision rolls eyes.
Player Blizzard rolls eyes.
Player 9tendo says: Need help?
Player Microsoft says: you only have a 1-4 dmg dagger
Player 9tendo roars.
Player Midway says: dude you only have thrash gear
Player Sony says: ya kid leave it to the big boyz
Player Microsoft says: Shouldn't you be in bed right now kid?
Player 9tendo hits Monster Recession for 16,000,000,000 critical damage points
Player Microsoft says: ???????
Player Sony says: WTF
Player 9tendo says: rofl where would u guyz be without me
Player 9tendo says: Wiiiiiiii
Player 9tendo says: Wiiiiiiii
Player 9tendo says: Wiiiiiiii
Player 9tendo says: Wiiiiiiii
Player 9tendo says: Wiiiiiiii
Player 9tendo says: Wiiiiiiii
Player 9tendo says: Wiiiiiiii
Player 9tendo says: Wiiiiiiii
Player Microsoft says: stop spamming man
Player Sony whipers to player Microsoft: man I hate this kid
Player EA says: Told you guys this game was imba
Player Midway says: And YOU're the one to tell us this????
Player EA says: whatever dude

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